Why Gaslighting Is Bad for Mental Health & How to Recognize It

Here is an informed perspective from someone who had to deal with a lot at personal and professional levels.

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In my perspective purposeful gaslighting goes beyond manipulation as it is a calculated and subtle attempt to make someone doubt their own reality. When someone consistently twists your words, denies things that happened, or undermines your experiences, the result is confusion and a direct assault on your mental health.

Imagine a friend who constantly tells you that you are overreacting or too sensitive every time you share something that upsets you. Over time, you might start questioning whether your feelings are valid at all. Gaslighting erodes confidence, disrupts emotional stability, and can cause anxiety, depression, or even trauma.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person or group makes someone question their own reality, memory, or perceptions.

More importantly, gaslighing involves deliberately causing confusion to gain control or power over the other person. Unlike simple disagreements or misunderstandings, gaslighting is a repeated and strategic effort to distort someone’s sense of reality.

In my research, I have found that gaslighting leaves people feeling trapped in a cycle of self-doubt. They may ask themselves, “Am I being unreasonable?” or “Maybe I am just imagining things.”

The cruelty of gaslighting can be in its subtlety. Unlike outright abuse, which can be confronted or identified more easily, gaslighting can feel like an invisible force that slowly erodes your sense of self.

One of the most challenging aspects of gaslighting is its gradual nature. At first, the manipulative remarks may seem trivial. A partner might dismiss your concerns with a casual, “You are just being dramatic.” But as the pattern repeats, those dismissals start to shape your own perception of reality.

Unlike other things, gaslighting grows with inconsistency. When someone alternates between affection and criticism, it keeps you off balance. You find yourself trying to prove your worth, desperately seeking validation from the very person who is undermining you.

Recognizing gaslighting is essential for protecting your sanity and mental health. You need to pay attention to patterns, not just isolated incidents. If you feel consistently misunderstood, blamed, or doubted, it is worth questioning whether someone is intentionally manipulating your perception.

Trusting your own gut feelings and experience is crucial. If you find yourself doubting your reality, consider sharing your experiences with someone you trust. An external perspective can help you regain clarity.

Also, it is essential to establish boundaries. Setting firm emotional boundaries can help shield you from ongoing manipulation. It can also empower you to reclaim your sense of self.

Recovering from gaslighting is possible, but it requires acknowledging what has happened and actively working to rebuild your self-trust. Psychotherapy can be helpful. It offers tools to reclaim your confidence and heal from the psychological wounds left by gaslighting.

Gaslighting may be subtle, but its impact can be profound. Recognizing it for what it is can be the first step toward reclaiming your own truth.

The question we must ask ourselves is: When we feel our reality is being dismissed or undermined, how can we reaffirm our own experiences and protect our mental health?

Unfortunately, gaslighting can be systemic too. As a retired health scientist and public health consultant, I noticed this a lot in healthcare industry involving business owners, policymakers, doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and other professionals who cause gaslighing but also become a victim of it.

I recently read an eye-opening an insightful story penned by Dr Mehmet Yildiz which gave me aha moments by linking credible sources from his research and investigation of this topic to raise awareness. It is a must-read article so I link it here for your benefits:

Why Gaslighting Matters in the Healthcare Sector & How to Deal with It Effectively
From awareness to action: Confronting gaslighting in medicine, empowering patients, and empathizing with providersmedium.com

He said “The term gaslighting is traditionally associated with situations where people in positions of power manipulate those with less authority. However, power dynamics can exist in various relationships, including between patients and healthcare professionals. In some cases, patients may attempt to manipulate or deceive healthcare professionals for personal gain, to avoid accountability, or due to underlying psychological factors.”

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